So, the day is nearly over, and now I have less than 28 minutes to get my fifteen minutes of writing in before day's end. What I'm really hearing right now is my bed, singing the sweet siren song promise of well-deserved slumber, but I promised a month, and dammit, I'm going to do this for a whole damn month.
I seem to be struggling with a lack of basic time for myself. Part of it is self-imposed: after all, I didn't have to say "YES" to acting in The Young Man From Atlanta or eSe Amor. I could've turned one of them down. Starting this during this crazy-busy time may not have been the best move. As of Friday, I've been at either one rehearsal or the other, sometimes running from one TO the other every night. Until the 19th of Feb, I'm either at work, onstage, or sleeping. My cat is going to have a thing or two to say about this...she's not quite as understanding about it as my significant other. And after the 19th, it eases up a little for a little while, but then I've accepted roles in three different short pieces in the Double (XX) Fest...while also RUNNING the damn thing.
Isn't there some chick in a musical who "Cain't Say No"? That may be me. A friend in grad school remarked once the reason people offer me work all the time is because I say yes to it. While I tried to ignore the somewhat backhanded compliment (gee, I hope that's not the ONLY reason...) I started to wonder. Maybe it's okay to say no sometimes. I'm able to do this in other areas of my life - why not the artistic part? It wouldn't kill me to turn stuff down every once in awhile...might even be good for me. Part of this habit developed over many years of single life when it felt better to be rehearsing than home doing nothing and watching tv...but now, the idea of sitting home watching tv for a night sounds HEAVENLY...and doing it enough that I get bored of it and sit down to write a play, a poem, story or essay may be what I need to do.
I keep saying I'm going to be more discriminating about the parts I say yes to, but truthfully, there's a reason why I choose everything. I wanted to do Young Man to work with that director, even though the part is tiny. As for the eSe project, I pretty much say yes to everything they send my way because I love working with them, and they have picked some awesome projects and there are awesome projects coming down the pipe I want to be involved in...plus there's the whole feeling at home with that Latina part of myself that I will address in a future musing. As for the 3 Double (XX) pieces? One piece really spoke to me in a way none of the others did and a friend of mine is directing it; the other, I want to work with that playwright again, and still the other, I want to work with the director again. All are actually good reasons to say yes...none of them are "because I didn't want to sit home alone and feel sorry for myself" which, if I am honest with myself, has, on occasion, been true in the past.
So, what to do? Life is just not long enough for all the things I need to get done. BUT, I did manage to write for fifteen minutes tonight, with 10 minutes lef
Day to day thoughts, rants and mental detritus.