Now I have to come up with three to get caught up. What a trying day it was today. What a trying economy we're living in. I miss my job at Cornish College - I was NEVER, EVER stressed out there. As I wait backstage, I am hoping the Universe will see fit to send me a life preserver of some kind. It doesn't have to be huge, I am happy to take my own actions, I'm not lazy, but something I can recognize and grab onto. Whatever that may be. Maybe I just need to dream a little bit...it worries me that I've been too exhausted even to dream. Between the job, the rehearsals, the shows, the eight hats I wear at work, the boyfriend, the kitty, the paying of all the bills...there's just not much time in there for me, whereas at one point, there was copious time.
I feel envious of people who just quit everything and travel the world. I don't think I could do that. Or could I? Could I just drop everything and take off? I'd have to figure out someplace to leave the kitty, for one thing, and either sell off nearly everything I own or find a place to store it. There's the idea of applying for a Fullbright...don't know if I could do that as a student anymore, since I'm now 4 years out of grad school. Don't know if any of these are necessarily the answer, either. I just know I need more time to rest and dream. I need more time to cultivate my own projects. I need time to freaking EXERCISE REGULARLY again! Something's gotta give around here, and really, I know what it needs to be, I just can't financially do it right now without some kind of lifeline. Are you listening, Universe? Please. Anything recognizable would be AWESOME!
Day to day thoughts, rants and mental detritus.